There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
try to milk me bitch
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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