Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
