Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize