***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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