his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
