He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
