I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
