We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
