sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
