Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
