i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
ttyl tear gas
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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