never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
