just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
