Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
