I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
