SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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