and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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