Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
