What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
