John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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