I molested 6 butterflies tonight
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
