apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
