in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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