do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
