Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
