i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
