Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
