Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize