it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
