Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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