i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
