no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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