You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
