I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
