grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize