If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
