If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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