I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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