I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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