I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
