In the future we'll all be gay
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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