I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
