so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
