ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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