Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
