why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
