I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
