The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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