Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
