mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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