there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
my poor anus
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
