Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
