what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
