when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
