honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
