What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
