ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
