I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
