Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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