i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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