I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
