Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
